inner pickle

happiness is...

no child at risk

freedom of speech and beliefs

an end to domestic violence

worldwise fair food distribution

and the rest.

 

But if if I can look on my little precious bubble of a world for a moment, deeply aware of how damn lucky I am, then happiness is:

gardening...

 

admiring and eating our delicious ridiculous carrots, determined next time to plant from seed, not seedlings!

 

eating our first head of broccoli for dinner... if we'd picked it yesterday it would not have flowered (oops) but perhaps would not have been so pretty.

 

computer time...

 

fresh scones for afternoon tea with friends we particularly like, using this recipe and using up the end of the blackberry jam. LICIOUS, says Ivy.

 

Happiness is Walmsley children up a wall. In this they take after their rock-climbing father.

Also smallest.

 

So determined. 

 

Manager: will the parents please get the baby off the wall?

Happiness is a simple little life that sometimes smacks you in the head with how ridiculously and incredibly lucky we are. Nutritious food on the table. Roof over heads. Clothes on back. Extended family. Friends we adore. Health. A chance to do work we find really satisfying.

Happiness is overwhelming gratitude.

(And a left over scone.)

For you? Happiness is...?

xxx

 

the up and the down

Some days just start out dreadful.

We lost four chooks last night to a fox. Four. Although at least it wasn't all of them, like my friend Darren, who's experience last week was pretty dire. 

Adam and I are all no-nonsense and practical and we don't get emotional about farm animals. 'Cept as much as we know this in our heads, we feel sad in our little hearts. Poor defenseless chookies. And I think when you lose animals to a predator, you just want to know you did everything you could to keep them safe; and maybe we didn't. He got in, somehow. 

So tonight, the remaining eight are shut up in their nesting room, which is the safest we can make them. And still I'm nervous. What if he gets in there? 

And so am thinking about other bits of the day instead. (No point worrying about something you can't control.)

Today was a very wet day. 

 

Good for dressing up your little sister in a feather boa and pretending she's a bird.

 

Good for a middle of the day movie (The Lion King) complete with popcorn.

 

Good for hanging out inside, talking to the dogs outside.

 

A good day to eat a goose egg, soft boiled. (Oh, that orange benchtop. Sigh.)

Lovely on a muffin with tuna and dill and mayonnaise. Tastes just like a delicious enormous chicken egg. Nothing strong or terribly rich, just delicious. 

 

And a good day to celebrate a special birthday! No, my Dad is not turning ten. I didn't actually have seventy-three candles. Awesome work, Dad.

Any day that ends with marble cake is OK with me.

And one more up: up in the air right now, winging her way to Australia, a very very special and much-missed sister, coming to visit. 

Now THAT makes it a very good day. In your eye, Mr Fox.

xxx

gosh she's really let herself go

 

Do you know this woman?

I can tell you what she used to look like.

She used to match. Have a $250 haircut. Often manicured. Waxed, combed, clean.

You wouldn't see her without a touch of mascara at the very least. Some nice cheek gloss. Lip glass. All on expensively moisturized skin, recently facial-ed. 

Seriously, WHAT is she wearing? 

Are they Blundstone boots? With jeans and a sundress?

Has she got anything in that wardrobe with any shape?

Did she actually look at herself before she got in the car? (No, she didn't.)

And I mean, really. Where IS that novel? Where's the PhD? Where's the big job, the world changer, the mover and shaker, the girl most likely? And I'm sure that whole outfit is Kmart and Vinnies. (It is.)

Where's the girl who drank soy lattes and furiously scribbled verse? That's not really her, sitting by the swimming pool for another swimming lesson? Is that her in daggy pants at the school pick up? Pushing a trolley in the supermarket, putting on another load of laundry, dosing out junior panadol and breaking up an argument over who sits in what chair at the dinner table? 

And, really, you should see her house. Piles of washing. Toys all over the floor. The children skating across the floor on board books. I saw a guest actually pause once before sitting down on a chair that was evidently occupied by someone eating Weetbix earlier. 

You know once, she would have been able to tell you exactly how much she weighed. Now she knows how much all her children weigh and just that she intends to lose 10 kilograms. 

Which illustrates my point: she really has let herself go. 

She can't remember when she last had an undisturbed nights sleep but she is laughing out loud and loudly at the baby blowing raspberries. 

She hasn't worn a nice pair of heels in months, but her heart is bursting because she caught her children being randomly kind to each other. 

She has nothing to show for herself at the end of the day but she's whisking eggs in pure joy. 

She's blinking in amazement that her children can independently take themselves off to the toilet. 

She let herself go, let the self-imposed rules and restrictions, all the insecurities, the vacuous meaningless nonsensical self-centeredness go, and she found she was happier than she'd ever been in her whole life. 

xxx

The Happy List

Have you found Kate at Fox's Lane yet? Such a gorgeous blog. She's also incredibly positive in the face of pretty dire agricultural conditions right now. Kate and her partner run an organic farm in Daylesford and the rain has just about washed them out. And now the locusts seem to be moving in.

And yet, she's running a "what makes me happy" list, because she's an awesome Pollyanna, and so I'm joining in too. 

In no particular order, here's what's making me happy:

:: baking, particularly Christmas baking. 

(Recipe and more on these yummo cookies tomorrow.)

:: finishing some Christmas gift sewing, with another project on the table tonight.

 

:: Tilly's craft-tastic table

 

:: The lights and the decorations and the tree

 

 

:: baby tummy

 

:: progress! (ref. yesterday's post)

 

:: Also - experimenting with a wicked 'cheesecake for one' idea. Not sure my microwave plan is all that genius although it tastes OK. Another couple of goes then I'll share it!!

Hope you're happy too. Or that at least in the face of a tough old week you can pinpoint a couple of things that make you feel good. The process of actually thinking about this was all the therapy I needed today. Thanks Kate. 

xxx

back!

Thanks for the lovely comments, emails and messages - after getting seriously worse my back is now much much better.

Am so enamored of the effect of physio plus acupuncture that am almost convinced I need to retrain as an acupuncturist! Amazing stuff!

I've been lying very low and relying on a lot of help for the last few days; there was a point at which, for a few days, I had to get someone else to lift Ivy out of her cot to feed her. To those mothers with ongoing chronic back problems, my heart goes out to you.

So am back upright and have a clearer head and am feeling very grateful for the little things:

 

:: babies who sleep anywhere and easily

 

:: Anzacs (recipe)

 

:: reading!

 :: the yeasty smell of the first loaf of bread rising since Thursday

 

:: and perhaps surprisingly - delicious chicken soup!

Yep, somewhere along there a week or so ago I woke up one day really really really needing to eat some red meat. And so I did. After my meat-free May turned into our meat-free year, I now know for sure there are hundreds of cheap, fabulous vegetarian meals to cook. But right now I seem to need heme iron and lots of protein. 

I hope the appearance of the odd meat based recipe back here won't upset my vegetarian friends. 

Hope you are all very well and that there are little things thrilling you too. 

xxx